I was in a meeting over a few years ago and we had been asked if we had any questions. I asked “what is a ‘floor plate’ meeting”. I had read the term in an email we had been sent so not wishing to sound too thick in front of my colleagues kept my doubts to myself and looked the term up on Google and a couple of other search engines. All it came up with was what we used to call checker plate, the metal industrial flooring with a crisscross pattern on it to stop you slipping. I have just looked it up again now and it also seems it is something to do with the nervous system or spine (I’m not a medical expert). As I couldn’t find the answer I asked the question.
The answer was “its a meeting where everyone gathers together from all departments”
“so its a meeting?
“yes”
“why don’t you just say; we had a meeting?”
So I reckon some high ranking manager invented the term and used it once so all his minions picked up on it and started using it and the term, as stupid as it is, stuck. How many meetings must sound like this:
Right, heads up & pay attention,
I think we need to hit the ground running, keep our eye on the ball, and make sure that we are singing off the same song-sheet. At the end of the day it is not a level playing field and the goalposts may move; if they do, someone may have to pick it up and run with it. We therefore must have a golf bag of options hot-to-trot from the word “go”. It is your train set but we cannot afford to leave it on the back burner; we’ve got a lot of irons in the fire right now.
We will need to un-stick a few potential poo traps but it all depends on the flash-to-bang time and fudge factor allowed. Things may end up slipping to the left and, if they do, we will need to run a tight ship. I don’t want to reinvent the wheel but we must get right into the weeds on this one. If push comes to shove, we may have to up-stumps and then we’ll be in a whole new ball game.
I suggest we test the water with a few warmers in the bank. If we can produce the goods then we are cooking with gas. If not, then we are in a world of hurt. I don’t want to die in a ditch over it but we could easily end up in a flat spin if people start getting twitchy.
To that end, I want to get around the bazaars and make sure the movers and shakers are on side from day one. If you can hit me with your shopping list I can take it to the head honchos and start the ball rolling. I know you’re not the sharpest tool in the box and may be a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but together we’ll be the best thing since sliced bread.
There is light at the end of the tunnel and I think we have backed a winner here. If it gets blown out of the water, however, I will be throwing a track. So get your feet into my in-tray and give me chapter and verse as to how you see things panning out. As long as our ducks are in a row I think the ball will stay in play and we can come up smelling of roses.
Before you bomb-burst and throw smoke it is imperative we nail our colours to the mast and look at the big picture. We’ve got to march to the beat of the drum. We are on a sticky wicket, we’ll need to play with a straight bat and watch out for fastballs.
I’ve been on permanent send for long enough and I’ve had my ten pence worth. I don’t want to rock the boat or teach anyone to suck eggs. We must keep this firmly in our sight picture and not under our hats or it will fall between the cracks. If the cap fits, wear it, but it may seem like pushing fog uphill with a sharp stick.
Did you all get that?
Scary isn’t it? People actually say this kind of drivel and even more scary some people believe in all the cobblers that gets peddled from the top. Cynical? Me?
